Teva Stilettos: If Everyone Jumped

The latest WTF product on the market is going to take you back quite a few years, and not in a thank-goodness-ballet-flats-are-in-again kind of way. Anyone remember Teva sandals? (Read: Are you trying not to remember owning Teva sandals?)

It was announced this week that Teva has partnered with Grey Ant, a New York City-based designer known for tongue-in-cheek interpretations of old trends, to create Teva high heels. They come in “Natural,” which is tan and has a buckle closure, and “Worlds Unite,” a black and white mash-up with – you guessed it – a Velcro closure. They go for $330. {the gloss, New High (M)art}

You can order the shoes by phone at 323-638-0271. {Daily Candy} They are also available online at New High (M)art, whose product page for these babies says New High (M)art is “proud” to exclusively present Teva Stilettos and includes the following copy:

It’s the classic “Hurricane” style sport mandal re-imagined as a STILETTO. This co-branded effort sees the Teva velcro-strap styling and grip-sole construction on a 4″ stacked heel. They’re calling it the most comfortable, performance high heel on the planet — we call it the most daring mash-up of the decade. This is anti-fashion at its purest. And so good when paired with socks.

A note at the bottom of the page adds, “*Not recommended for actual hiking, gardening, mountain climbing, or Phish concerts :).”

For once, we’re speechless. Especially because these things cost more than $300. The Teva Stiletto’s availability on New High (M)art seems to be as tongue-in-cheek as the shoe’s actual creation, but the high heels do legitimately exist and are for sale online, nonetheless. And we have a feeling there are people out there crazy enough or determined enough to be anti-fashion that they will purchase them. Here’s the only silver lining to this situation: New High (M)art has limited quantities available. (Phew!)